Cancer Apparel

I wanted some shirts that showed my disdain for cancer. I found Cafepress, which has quite a few shirts that align with my sense of humor.

I couldn't find a dark shirt (I sweat a fair amount more now that I'm on Gleevec) that had the right saying. So I made some.

Cafepress is actually a pretty cool service. You can upload any picture you want and put it on a variety of clothing.

Music and a Wedding

Friday night we went to Berkeley for the Robert Plant and Allison Krauss "Raising Sand" concert. It was a great show although the weather was a little nippy and foggy. On the way to the show my doctor's office called and told me the complete biopsy results had come in. I was positive for the Philadelphia Chromosome. That result meant that there was really no hope now that this was anything other than cml. I think I had been holding out for this last result with a little bit of optimism.

That night we stayed in Pleasonton before heading to Long Barn on Saturday for Wendy's friend Colleen's wedding. The weather was great and the ceremony as well as the reception were very nice.

Unfortunately I was having a bad day. I was extremely tired, my sinuses were filled up and I was a little "out of it". I would get lightheaded very easily and had a difficult time focusing. We left the reception early and headed to our hotel in Sonora where I promptly fell asleep around 9pm.

Today I felt the same. We managed breakfast in downtown Sonora before Wendy drove us back to Morgan Hill while I slept in the passenger seat.

My Cancer Present

We bought a T.V.

And a Blu-ray Player.

They're cancer presents to ourselves. We've wanted a wide screen T.V. for quite some time but keep putting it off because of the money. After visiting Europe last year we decided that we wanted to "do stuff, not buy shit".

Well, I wanted a T.V. damnit. And it's beautiful! We watched the "final cut" of Blade Runner as our first Blu-ray disc. Again, beautiful!

We'll be paying this off for awhile, but we got a good deal and it won't cost us interest for 18 months.

Something to be thankful for I guess....

More Side Effects

I have a lot of pain in the my leg bones from knees to my hips. It feels like growing pains from when I was young, only a lot worse. It took over a day to figure out whether I could take Advil while taking Gleevec to alleviate the pain. In the meantime, walking was painful, sitting was painful, laying down was painful... you get the idea.

I'm still very nauseated at night. It's a focused nausea, more in my intestines than in my stomach. Sometimes it's painful just to roll over. I get very tired, very easily now too. Getting out of bed before 9:30 takes a heroic effort. If I do get up earlier, I feel like shit the rest of the day. I've been getting into work late, and even when I'm there I'm not very useful. I have a hard time concentrating and an even harder time caring. I have cancer, what the fuck do I care if I meet a deadline or not?

It's funny the things I've started to think about. I called my insurance guy and had him send over estate planning information. Wendy and I will need to get a will drawn up. Where do I want to be buried? Will I live to see our baby finish college? High school? Elementary school?

I don't want this cancer. I didn't ask for it, and I don't deserve it.

Side Effects

It's been two days on the Gleevec. I get pretty sick at night and don't sleep well. I don't vomit but I feel very nauseous, to the point where I feel like I can't move. I take the pill about 1 hour before bedtime so in the hopes that I'll sleep through the worst of it.

I'm also taking a drug called Allopurinol to prevent a buildup of excess uric acid. Apparently as all the excess white cells die off uric acid is produced.