Sunday, June 8, 2008

A Fake Weekend

So it's not parasites and it's not stress. I spend the weekend putting on a fake smile and false confidence for Wendy. I tell her that they want to see me again Monday for a followup but that the doctor didn't really say much of interest.

She can tell I'm lying but she doesn't say anything.

I look up cml and I'm not encouraged. It's fucking cancer. How the hell do I have cancer? I hardly ever use my medical insurance, I don't even get regular physicals. I'm a healthy, fit, active guy. There's no fucking way I have cancer.

I didn't want to worry Wendy any more than she already was. Being pregnant, the extra stress isn't good for her. Finally, tonight, I broke down and told her I was going in for a biopsy tomorrow and that my white cell count was much higher on Friday. She's says she's coming with me. She has no idea how much that means to me.

1 comment:

Ian said...

My wife and I (and our three small children) have also went through this same situation. She (35) was diagnosed with APL (AML-Type 3) Leukemia in May.

After a long, hard summer she is now in remission and I'm thankful for our "new" normal.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, they are quite compelling.