It occurred to me that I forgot to mention Bob. Bob is the person who has cancer, not me. While Wendy and I were talking about all that was going on I was very concerned for her stress level with the baby. I came up with this guy named Bob. We could imagine that everything was happening to Bob. Bob's white cell count was high, Bob was getting the bone marrow biopsy, Bob had cancer.
As stupid as this sounds, it actually made things easier to talk about. In the third person, you could dissociate yourself from the disease.
For giggles, here is the back story I made up about Bob. I wanted Bob to deserve what was happening so that we wouldn't need to feel any pity. This is entirely fictional.
Bob was not a nice man. He was a bully as a child and tormented his teachers in school. As a young adult he routinely tortured small animals, going so far as to sodomize cats with broomsticks. He was into drugs and would steal from neighbors to finance his habit. One summer when he was 25, he got his neighbors daughter high on ecstasy. She passed out and he raped her. The result was a child born to a 17 year old girl. Bob spent 2 years in jail for statutory rape and has yet to pay one dime in child support. During his time in jail, Bob would routinely beat and molest his cellmate. When Bob was 28 he drove home from a bar after about 10 too many and crashed into a car when he ran a red light. The car was filled with teens who had just graduated high school. All four died instantly. Bob was untouched and fled the scene. Since the car he was driving was stolen, he has never answered for this crime.
This made Bob an easy target. We actually used him in conversation a few times. It's weird how the dumbest, most juvenile things can make a difference sometimes.